Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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