your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
NoShamevember. You game?
You have to summon your inner elephant
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
