NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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