using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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