whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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