like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize