He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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