lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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