So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
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My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
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he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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