Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
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I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
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In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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