Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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