trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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