I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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