god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
