so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
