There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
