Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
