Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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