I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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