Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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