piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
