nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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