i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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