Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
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you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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