You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize