I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
