My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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