i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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