she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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