I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
