Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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