You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
