He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize