I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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