don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Randomize
