We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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