We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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