Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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