i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
