$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
nutella sex= disaster
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
