We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
