idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
