I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
handjob tips. give me some.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
