belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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