I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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