Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
