i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
