I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
