I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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