thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
