Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
