Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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