You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
