New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
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We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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