ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize