It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
