you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
