I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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